I the penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons :
* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I work in high temperatures.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I plunge head first into everything i do.
* I dont get weekends or public holidays off.
* my work exposes me to contagious diseases.
* I work in a dark work place that has poor ventilation.
after assessing your request, and considering the arguments that you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons :
* you are unable to work double shifts.
* you do not work 8 hour shifts.
* you will retire before your 65.
* you fall asleep after brief work periods.
* you do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* you do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* you do not take initiative -you need to be stimulated in order to start working.
* you leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift.
* you do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing.
* you sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your task.
* And if that were not all, you have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying. two suspicious looking bags.